Bizzare Moments In Comic Book History

Lately, I'll admit, I've been addicted to stumble upon. Spending hours upon hours clicking the stumble button. Looking at the bizarre things that people put up on the internets. My favorite things to find however are the old comic book covers that seem to make little or no sense. It seems to go a little like this, Stumble: hilarious prat fall, Stumble: Scenic Photos of India, Stumble: GIANT GREEN NAZI GORILLAS!!!




No Kids I'm not joking. At what point did Hitler go, "Fuck this, it's giant green gorillas all the way!"

Or perhaps this classic moment...


Yes, ladies and gentleman, his superpower appears to be taking sterioids. And Wearing really shitty white hotpants.


Yet nothing hits me like this one...


HENRY THE NEIGHBORS CALLED AND THEY ARE CONFUSED. I'm confused why he wants to confuse the neighbors and why he needs a BOOK to do it. Who the hell wrote this tome? Is there a market for texts like these?

This too gets honorable mention...


Why is she a nurse at a castle and where did she get such a dope cape. I want it. Want want want.

And for the finale...


RIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE THE LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!





In other news, I am in Jersey and Drew is coming tomorrow to hang out for a few days. We're going to the MOMA! Hooray!

i met a girl: a snowball in hell she was hard and cracked as the liberty bell...

There is the sound of a sternum breaking. The half splintering wood, half soft fleshy sound that makes me nauseous and forces me to choke back acrid bile.

Then I remember twilight and I remember Pont Champlain

I dig my nails deeper pulling the ribcage apart a little, jamming my fingers into the spaces between bones. The body is surprisingly resistant to being ripped in half. Pain, and looks of anguish are of course all a part of the process.

Then I remember things you left behind: the smell of apples, sunshine. Hair.

Finding strength I rend the corpse in two. I am surprised, the heart is still in one piece. So many stab wounds from the rear torso...it defies any sort of logic.

I remember being warm once...

I box my little gift and leave it innocuously wrapped on your porch. A parting gift from the depths of me. Burn it in good health lover.

and I remember nothing at all