Mantra.Mantra.

I am not allowed to feel down when things are going fine.

New Baffling Aspects Short Film is UP!

In Which: Oliver Gets His Drunk On, Steals My Camera and bothers sophia, who is asleep.

I really wish I could give these some witty caption but really, Oliver is just insane. I didn't even know that he took all these until i was uploading all the pictures from my camera and they appeared in the midst of photos from the cliffs and of flowers.

He's a real nutcase Oliver, and how Sophia didn't wake up for any of this I'll never know.

Watch Her: Wash

Wifi at the laundromat is probably the coolest thing ever, mostly I think because I really can't be separated from my laptop for too long. Also, I can never read here because of all the noise and madness so if i have to go alone (perhaps because someone went to his parents house hunt zombies for a few days and is therefore unable to be my partner in laundromat excellence)

Anyway, it's been one of those in teresting weeks, busy all the time even though I had a few days off and generally sequestering myself in the house, helping one subletter move out and our permanent roomate steph k move in. Sophia (our other roomate who has been away moost of the summer acting in the Voices Project, some vermont teen movie that has little to do with teens and more about the warm fuzzy feeling that older people get when they pretend to "connect with the youth" but really aren't connecting at all and are mostly just being wankers. All this aside Sophia is a fantastic actress and performer and I'll bet that her parts are the only worth watching.

My bones feel cracky and I havent gone to the gym in so long I'm starting to atrophy. Oh well. I think I'm even too lazy to type out a proper blog entry but I mean, who cares right? I could write anything all here and due to the fact that nobody reads thing (except I think my father found it once and asked me if I was in fact "The Watcher" which I am and I had to laugh because he said it as if her were asking Superman if he were Clarke Kent.

also: the word genre is amazing.

say it with me geeeeeennnnnrrrreeeeee.

Crappy Podcast

Well I quite like your wrists honestly.

we went to the movies
and got vegan Rubins at Elf and Zinny's Stone Soup
we talked about everything
and tried to infiltrate an insurance sales convention
but then my car got towed from City Market.
Which we all now call "Hungry Hungry Hippies"
I got it back
and you went to work
Which is The Skinny Pancake
or sometimes the Sneaky Pancake
or Planet of the Crepes
we call it "The Shitty Pancake" because they pay you nothing and treat you like and idiot

So I cleaned the house
and read some comics

When are you coming over? I have a question about the Green Arrow and the Black Canary.




My friends are weird.

I can imagine it working out perfectly he said I can't she replied he told her No wonder you're so stressed

Saturday I am working from 4-8 so before or after that is fine. Sunday I am planning on spending some time with my friend Ginevra which is a must, she's going through a rough spot and might have to move out of her current place of residence etc etc. But I am sure I can do both if I need to.

I'm going to rant a little so if you're in a lousy mood just skip this para.
I had a sucky day, I had to leave work becasue my poison ivy was so bad I was almost throwing up (WHO GETS SiCK FROM POISION IVY!!!) I went to the health clinic and they gave me ultra heavy duty meds with a fact sheet that includes side effects like "May cause bleeding from the eyes" It's already helping the poison ivy but it's making me really weird and loopy. The mice escaped in the middle of the night luckily i couldn't sleep from the heat and heard them. They are in an escape proof plastic tank for now...

Grrr.

I left my phone at work and need to run back and let myself in to get it.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM TRYING TO BE OPTIMISTIC TODAY
YES I CAN SEE IT ALL WORKING OUT PERFECTLY

I am stressed about too many stupid things I want a release somehow.

The Whole Truth

It was, if nothing else, an eventuality. I had felt the tendrils of it' presence lingering on the edges of my conscience for such a lon time that I had almost become accustomed to it's monotonou droning presence. It comes time in every relationship when yo reevaluate the reason for it's persistence and whether or not you ar truly happy
It is because of all of these eventualities that I find myself in a place that I haven't been in a long time, not attached to anyone but myself and existing in the kind of freedom that I don't think I've ever known. I realized that I have rarely enjoyed being in a relationship with the kind of easy freedom that is so often described to me. That spending time with another person compulsorily due to some physical/emotional attraction, has never been enough to satisfy me and if anything it only impedes my ability to create which is what really makes me happy, is simply a bad idea. It hurts the other person deeply and it just makes me unhappy.
I hadn't intended the shit to hit the fan the way it did, but it had to happen soon and unfortunately it happened in the middle of the night in the kind ofexhausting way that people envision what amounts to about 5 years of "our" life crashing down around our ears. Or rather his ears and mine. He will probably never understand. He's a wonderful man but I just can't love that way anymore. The resulting emotional train wreck damage has yet to be really clear and I end up sitting here at my computer realizing that I am alone.
and I know it's the right place to be.
So you get up late a couple days and smoke too much and maybe have one or two extra glasses of wine but eventually you gotta cut out the shit make a cup of coffee, clean the kitchen, and re-edit that screenplay.
which is where I am right now.

Back Home In Burlington

So I am back in action at Btown fter a couple of wild trips to Seattle and to Italy. I'm working up a really interesting little travel journal and if it turns out good than I'll type it up and post it here with photos.

Getting back was a little rough at first, but things are slowly adjusting and I'm starting to realize what I really want out of this summer and my life and it's honestly more than a little scary because I know that I'm gonna have to make some rather drastic changes.

gotta galvanize my life stream.


My sisters in magazine called suburban elite and my godmother just got made professor for the grad program at St.Peters in Jersey.
yyy
I'm smoking too much and drinking cheap wine, I accidentally stole sunglasses today from the supermarket. They are lopsided, but i bent and worked them till they were straight.


and I'm falling in love with patty smith.

As the Ninth Dr.Who Would Say "Fantastic!"

Hello friends!

It's me again and I am proud to report that in the few days that I've been home i've already been possibly nearly arrested! I say possibly because I swear that this is all a *very* hypothetical situation. After a lovely picnic lunch (pasta tossed with Artichoke Hearts, Sicilian Black Olives, Broccoli Rabe, and Rosted Red Peppers in a Balsamic Vinagrette Reduction!) with the boyfriend who got to ooh and ahh over my cooking prowess. (He does that so well! That's why I keep his skinny irish ass around!) We ended up being bored at his place. There is a house that is in the midst of being built across the street, and Irish had a hex key which we used to well, get into the back of the house. It was fun to explore the gutted house and we were careful with the flashlight, however I suppose not careful enough. Someone called the police and we had the jump over a fence and fly through three backyards to escape. It was a rather thrilling moment in an otherwise lazy day. Irish is learning some sort of Martial sword fighting and was trying to teach me. Mostly it seemed like a good excuse to hit him with a stick. In the end though we ended up smoking a ton of hookah at our friend Ben's place, and all was good.


MMM Running from the law...hypothetically.

Germans are weird...really weird.

Blogger Won't Embed Quicktime? Seriously WTF mates?

So the find credit for this goes to my friend Oliver, his handle is 1337haxorpwnsn00bs. He's the coolest guy ever.

Mothers Day!

And Mom's whole family will be over all day. I love them, but that doesn't mean that I won't be surgically attached to a glass of wine all evening.


Italian-Americans... Gotta love them.


More later if I survive.

Something Happening...

I can't explain this. I'm too ill to. Too overworked. But i've felt the change coming for a long time now and I know that it's going to happen in a few weeks.



Here it goes, moving foward, even when I don't want it to.

The Weird to the wacked to the totally abstract...

Never in my life have I been so totally unable to focus on my task at hand. I'm fighting to ever print out more research on my porject on Indian Drought and I don't want to even discuss my paper on Yvain that is getting closer and closer. I have officially given up on getting anything of substance done today and have decided that I will just type up this little entry and then run errands that need to be run so that I will have Sunday free to work. The day here is utterly gray and opressive and really the only thing I am looking foward to is getting to see my friend perform a traditional indian dance and the ALANA talent show tonight. I couldn't tell you why I'm so out of it today. I opted not to go party at all last night. However I did have a rather fantastic day with Drew.

You see every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Drew, Zach and I meet at the school's Marche' for lunch. Usually it's an hour event since I have a class but that was cancelled and Drew and I went downtown to the new comic book store, then got frree ice cream at the Honors Dorm where I pretended to be smart for gummibears. We went off to the palace 9 theatre where we saw HOT FUZZ (fantastic! 100 stars! Simon Pegg Edgar Wright and Nick Frost are the heirs to comedy's pantheon of Gods!) and then got flatbread at Burlington Heart (omgz lolz flatbread) THEN we all went back to UHeight watched mystery science theatre 3k and then I passed out. Since I had been up the night before till 4am (Drew got locked out while his roomate did the late show on the college radio station so we hung out and watched when Harry Met Sally.)


*****AHHH sorry in the cyber cafe and a girl just walked by with pants that were so tight that she was limping and sh had and awful muffin top annnnnd she had her shirt pulled up like a crop top and i just almost threw up a little jesus christ why cant people wear clothes that fit them for Goddess' sake.*****

Anyway the night as a whole was great. Dave and Matt and I had a cool discussion about music in the park and Drew fell asleep on the bench and it was kind of adorable.

I really can't wait until this semsester is over. I really really need the Summer and my upcoming trip to seattle to see my cousin Martin and generally have a fantastic time.

I miss Matt. I really do. so. soon.


I think on some level I should use a blog to say something worthwhile but I don't have much worthwile to say.

I guess I'm just shouting my life into cyberspace a bit.

Video

A few weeks ago I found this tape in my room. I had no idea what was on it as it was unlabled. After filming one weekend, after doing some uploading for an actual video project, I decided to upload and find out. Mostly it was just footage from a trip to local spot Huntington Gorge and video I took walking alone, downtown. Nothing coherent just shaky shots. This is what I did to it. The music is Demented are Go, Daddy's Making Monsters. Sweet psychobilly band if you're into that sort of thing.


Peace.



I wonder if anyone reads this thing....

Holy Freaking Hell

I may actually like this...

I am an idiot

After months of waiting I missed the entire JRR Tolkien Conference at UVM because my friend GAbby came up and I haent seen him since he was in Israel for a year. I assumed that there was something else going on besides undergraduate papers on Sunday Morning, which I of course slept through.


But I was wrong

And life sucks right now.

The Webs says I look like...

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

Me as a child and my boy as of now. I have no photoshop skilz so bite me

Well...duh

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1950s Pinup

What Retro Girl Are You?